Stale Taste
by persistentxwishes
Summary: CraigxEllie. FINALLY UPDATED. Ellie and Craig are happy together, and just when everything seems sickeningly carefree...it gets thrown around by the hurricane known as Sean Cameron.
1. Recycled Air

_**Well..I decided to re-do Stale Taste I don't know, I had a good feeling about this one and wanted it to be good. So another thing I should mention. Don't flame due to the spelling I have fucking WORD PAD. My comp crashed and went back to default settings deleting everything, it was quite a long process. Just had to say that, ENJOY!**_

_**No, I don't own Degrassi, The Flaming Lips, or The Postal Service.  
**_

**How it happened. I don't know. All I do know is that I ws alone, and so was he. Sean could never do anything about it, but somehow he found a way to come back, and keep on ruining everything. He left, stuck me with the rent, and killed the one person who was there for me when he wasn't. There's only one way I can get over what happened. And that's to start from the beginning.**

I was tired of laying bed, night after night, thinking, my thoughts just buzzing through my head not allowing me to shut my eyes and give me any moments peace. I was always left turning over, struggling for sleep. Now even in the summer, I only seemed to catch two or three hours of sleep. I was so alone, Marco was there some of the time, but he couldn't always be there. Ashley, she was gone too. Gone to England, she didn't need a break, I did. Sure Craig was BiPolar, but that wasn't his fault. I was so sick of everyone running away from their problems, even me. I had to cut, I couldn't cry or stomp around or have normal feelings, I had to resort to other methods. Three AM, the first day of summer, I found myself yet again, alone. I finally got tired of attempting to sleep and woke up. The silence was getting to me, I hated it. Sighing, I turned on the kitchen light, and started to make some tea. It was so hot, I left all the windows wide open, maybe not the smartest idea at night, but hell, I didn't have anything else to lose. Drunken rants from party-goers could be heard outside. Hearing Jay was a bit of a given, when he wasn't drunk, he was high, when he wasn't high, he was trying to get drunk. Laughter spilled into the apartment, and I was fed up. "Crazy Craiggie! Get the fuck up let's goooo!" Spinner. I thought they hated him now. I guess they figured, it wasn't their job to hate him, it was Jimmy's.

I stuck my head out the window, and saw SPinner trying to drag a very drunk and passed out Craig down the sidewalk. "Hey!" I yelled, "Some of us do sleep you know!" Spinner shot up and looked around confused. "Dumbass! Over here!" I shouted. He finally saw me. "Ell-ay-ay-ay!" he laughed drunkedly "How the fuck are you! You're looking hot! How 'bout you and I get to know each other more?" I rolled my eyes. "Yeah Spin, I'd really love to get drunk and fuck you, but tonight I just don't feel like it." Spinner scoffed, and looked down at Craig, "Heycan you helpme here?" he said slurring his words. Getting irritated I decided, fuck it. Soon I was holding onto Craig Mannings legs, carrying him up the stairs of my apartment building. Spinner was running into walls and laughing like an idiot the whole way. Soon we were in the apartment and Craig was passed out on the couch. I sighed, and Spinner was still laughing. I looked at him, "You know what I think he'll be fine here why don't you stagger on home now." He shrugged and left, nearly killing himself down the stairs. I looked over at Craig, this is what I was now huh? A drunk shelter. I grabbed my tea, and slammed the door to my room shut. I eventually fell asleep around 6. I woke up to the smell of bacon, what the hell, who was cooking bacon? I shot up and threw open the door, Craig was standing by the stove looking over his shoulder at me. I forgot he was here. "Uh, hey, yeah sorry to freak you out, just thought'd I'd make breakfast you know? Thanks for keeping me here?" He said to me in a quiet tone. I blinked, my vision still blurry from waking up. "Uh, yeah thanks." I looked at the clock, Nine AM, three hours of sleep. I sighed and rubbed my eyes, god I was miserable, I hated this god damn place. "It sucks." Craig said "Doesn't it?" I looked at him. I walked over to the table and took a seat. "I don't know what you're talking about."

He placed a plate of eggs and bacon in front of me. Then he sat with his own plate, and dug in. "Yeah you do," he said "the lonliness, the fact that the person you love is so far away from here, and they left you with nothing and no one. Then you have that big problem that they feel they blamed themself for and like it was their job to take care of you, but it isn't and they think THEIR stressed out when they don't even KNOW." He was stabbing at his eggs furiously now. I grabbed his hand to stop. I looked at him, he looked like he was about to cry, and I realized, he felt just like I did. He knew more about what was going on then I did. I stood up and gave him a hug. "I hate it here." He hugged me and instead of him crying and sobbing, I did, and he held me. How that happened, what the hell I don't even know. All I know is that he understood.

The next week or so, Craig and I talked a lot. About Sean or Ashley, about anything. I felt so close to him, I don't know why. I had always hated him for what he did to Ashley, but now that didn't matter. I never knew we'd become so close so fast.

One day at the apartment, Craig was supposed to come over, and we were supposed to do something, I don't know, talk, see a movie, go get a bite at the Dot. Yeah I was more social, sue me. I also slept more, knowing I had nothing left to say to myself, because I said it to Craig. I heard a knock on the door. It was Craig of course. "Hey," he said akwardly. I don't knopw why this was so akward, but it was. Something was so uncomfortable or strange about the moment, I don't know something. Soon, I was holding him passionately, he was holding me, feeling my every curve. Sean never did that. I kissed him long and hard, never wanting to let him go. I had never been so romantic with someone. We stumbled to my room. Landing on my bed. He stopped, and I looked at him. "Ellie, I don't know. This feels right." I know, it's corny as hell, but who cares you'd fall for it if a someone said that to you too. "I needed someone Craig, and now I need you. It's alright." He looked at me in that way, that any girl wants to be looked at. I kissed his way down my chest. Then took off my zip-hoodie. He looked at my arms for a moment, and then I was ashamed. But then he planted delicate kissing along them. I took his face in my hands. And kissed him gently. I started to unbuckle his belt. But then stopped, groping my way towards his pant pocket, grabbing the condom out of his wallet. I threw it to my side for now. I began to slowly unzip his jeans, feeling him slightly, becoming embarassed. He looked at me gently, "it's okay." He kissed me again as I slipped off his pants. He slowly pulled off my shirt, and kissed down to my breasts. He unclasped my bra, and I looked down, slipping off his boxers. He pushed me back further onto the bed, grabbing the condom. I took it form him and slipped it on him. No matter how ugly you may think your body is, when you're naked and with someone you are connected and comfortable with, you feel beautiful and natural. I went up to kiss him, still in my underwear.He lifted my leg up and slipped them off. I was braced up against him, and he looked into my eyes. He slowly began to push inside, I was breathing heavily, the pain was there like everyone said. I knew it was weird, but the pain made it better. I was tilting my head back as he kissed my chest pushing inside now rhythmically. I held him and he thrust harder now. I was breathing so hard, I don't think I've ever felt this way.

I had never had sex with Sean, I duobt I would have been as comfortable.I was kissing him hard and moaning into his mouth. I was moaning like I was in pain, half pain, half pleasure. He was caressing me feeling the sweat down my back. He started to shiver in pleasure and I felt liek I was about to flow with screams and then...I did. We both did. Like we were connected somehow. Yeah sounds sappy, get over it. I didn't want it to end. I lay there his head on my chest now, sweaty I was stroking his hair.I then slowly pushed him off of me, and went to his side. I took his hand and laced it in mine. He looked at me touching me still. "Ellie," he said shivering still "I love you." I widened my eyes. "Now, this 'love', is it pure? Do you love me, or do you love me like if I were to leave you you would slowly die inside, it would hurt SO bad that you wouldn't know what to do and you could never love again. Because Craig, I'm tired of hearing that, and having it not be true." I was crying now. I didn't want to be hurt, the way Sean hurt me. He pulled me in and held me. "Eleanor Nash, I love you more than you will ever come to dream about."


	2. Suddenly Everything Has Changed

**_Drama, drama, drama. You know you love it. And no this is NOT the last chapter, just clearing up that quesiton for those who asked hehe. But yes. If you read the beginning to the first chapter in her little opening speech she uses the word "nearly". Just take that hint.  
_**

Waking up the next morning, I was still in his arms. The memory of what he said hadn't faded. I shot up to the sound of the phone ringing. I usually never got a call, unless from Sean, Marco, Ashley, and now Craig. Sometimes my Mom, but it was rare in re-hab. I slowly got out from under Craig, who was sleeping still. I walked across to my closet and got my robe quickly, picking up the phone. "He-Hello?" I said still tired. "Ellie?" It was Sean. I felt nervous. Technically on his standards, we were still together. I had to stop it. "Hey Sean, how are you?" I said nervously. "Things are good. Listen, I know I haven't been there in a really long time, but I want to let you know. I still love you." There he was, lying to me. I knew he didn't love me. He didn't love me the way Craig did, Craig seemed so honest about it. I loved him too. "Sean," I began to say. "Now Ellie, I love you." I was tired of hearing. "Sean, I can't," I began to say "I just can't do this anymore. You don't love me. You wouldn't have left if you did. The truth is, I don't love you anymore. I found someone else, who loves me, more than I'll ever dream about." I could hear him breathing angrily, "You cheated on me?" I wasn't about to have him yell at me for something that was his fault. "Don't even give me that! You're GONE Sean! You left me here to cry myself to sleep, cut myself AGAIN, and PAY YOUR DAMN BILLS! No, don't give me this. I was always there for you, you were never there, EVER. Not when everything went to the shitter, hell no." He was silent. "I love you, and you aren't doing this to me." I shook my head, "Sean, you did this to yourself." I hung up on him, he wasn't remotely justified. I just sat down on the bed next to Craig, watching him sleep. I took his hand, "Don't leave me."

Summer went by rather fast. June, July, then August came without warning. I knew there would be things to face in the coming school year, but I didn't care. I knew it would be different.

Now when people ask me how this sort of things happens. My response will never make sense to them but only to me. I knew that somewhere Ashley was still thinking of Craig, in a way that hurt me, because I knew that she held a hope, and I knew it was over, over because of me. Walking around, fingers laced, people gave us stares. I knew they were judging us. I didn't care. Sitting with him, having him listen to me was enough. Our time spent was rarely physical. A kiss, sex once in awhile. But that wasn't everything. When the school year began the school was buzzing, and it was close to Ashleys return. Sean was angered, he called everyday, I never answered the phone, then Craig got me a caller ID. Summer went by rather fast. June, July, then August came without warning.

Now I couldn't sleep again, I knew I wasn't alone because Craig was right next to me, but Ashley. She was coming back, tomorrow. Looking to my clock which read 2:17, She was actually coming back today. I sighed heavily as Craig groaned next to me turning frustrated. He shot up and looked at me. "She knows, she knows I would move on it's her fault." I smiled tiredly and took his hand. "Listen, if she has something to say, she can say it to me." He smiled and kissed me. "If she had the nerve to leave you, just like Sean left me, then she doesn't deserve your love. She made you feel like a burden she needed to avoid so she ran away. And you know what, I'm going to say that to her if she objects." So eventuallywe fell back asleep for a short bit, and woke up at 5. We needed an early start to prep for our "big day". Craig never told her. I guess it slipped his mid. In my mind, she deserved this little suprise. Walking to the dot, Craig and I were a bit antsy. Maybe coffee was not the best thing to have when you're on the edge.

People were already surrounding her when we arrived. We were hand in hand, it felt better to take her head on togehter. Slowly going up the steps, Ashley stood in the center of a giddy group of grade niners, fascinated with her tales of European fancy. Spotting Craig, obviously not me, she ran down and hugged him, my hand getting torn away from his. "Craig, oh my god, you have no idea how good it is to see you!" She leaned in to kiss him, but he turned his head, slowly peeling her arms off of him like pieces of trash. "Ashley, don't" She looked at him stunned. "Craig, I thought, we were still," she faded off. Craig laced his fingers in mine, Ashley looked down at our hands. "Ellie?" She looked at me, still speechless. "You, you're with Ellie now..." She looked up at him tears forming, and without warning she slapped him so hard he stumbled. " You bitch! You knew he was with me! You're my best friend!" I was gaping now. I now became intimidated, unable to say anything to her, I looked down in shame. Craig looked up, a cut from her nails on his face. "No Ashley! Don't you DARE blame her for what you did." Ahsley was fuming, "Really! What did I do to make you cheat on me now!" A crowd was forming, and Craig was just getting started. "You ran off, like a little baby because you thought that I was too much for you! You just, fucking left me here! You wanted to be away from me, YOU broke up with me. As far as I'm concerned, we were done from the second you closed that cab door." She atood there, thinking about what he had said. "Ellie was there for me! She didn't think that I was a problem, I felt like a god damn charity case who made my girlfriend leave because I was 'too much' for her! Well no Ashley, you wan't have to deal with me anymore. I know what true love feels like, I have Ellie." Everyone looked at me. Feeling more courage to stick up to her I spoke, finally, "Ashley, you lost the best thing that ever happened to you. You fucked up, and if I'm a bad friend, that's fine." Hand in hand, Craig and I entered the school, leaving Ashley standing there, silently crying to herself.

Word now spread. Craig and Ellie, together. Ashley Kerwin, what a bitch. Everyone now had their own say. The only bad things were about Ashley. But others thigns were being spread that wasn't exactly musci to my ears. Sean Cameron, he's back, looking for that Nash chick. I was assured he wouldn't do anything, but I knew something was wrong.

"So," Craig began to say one day in the Dot."Mmhmm?" I asked drinking my tea."Well, I was thinking, how about, since you know your birthday is coming up, we throw you a party?" I looked at him. "Craig...I'm nto a party person." Her looked eager to please so I reconsidered. "Alright, well throw a party. And yes, you can have drugs and alcohal if you feel like being a total moron, then again, I don't care, I'm just there." He smiled, "I love you Ellie, it will be great." We kissed, then Jay came up to us, "Hey lovers, cool it, you never know where Cameron could be hiding." I rolled my eyes. "Jay what do you want?" Craig asked. "Well I couldn't help overhear your conversation, so is the party tonight, and should we inform just about everyone...oh wait, I will either way." I covered my face as Jay shouted, "Party at Nash's!" then pointing down at me, everyone cheered. Craig took my hand, "Let's go." We went to his car, and drove to somewhere quiet for a bit, and then did a bit more than he intended. I was on his chest when I realized, "Shit!" I shot up. "Craig, wake up, we have to go to my party!" We fumbled to get our clothes back on. And It was around ten o'clock already. "Craig chill out it doesn't matter how late we are, it'll be all night." He began to slow up when we were rammed from the back. "What the hell!" Craig turned around quickly, "Who is that?" I pushed him back, "Keep driving! I'll look." I squinted looking into the beater following us. I couldn't see, but they sped up and got to the right of us. I stopped breathing, Sean. He looked wild, like a homicial maniac. Craig looekd oer, "Oh shit." I rolled down the window, "Sean, what the fuck are you doing?" He looked at me, and smiled evilly, then ramming us again. I quickly rolled up the window. I looked at Craig, "Go faster! Lose him!" We were then rammed again, pushed against the quard rail of the bridge. I think I was screaming, I don't know, it was a blur. I just remember taking Craigs hand, then we flipped. He held on still. My head smacked against the ceiling, and I blacked out, but I knew, I was still holding his hand. I woke up, upside-down in the car. Glass was cutting into my side as I layed there. Craig was breathing heavily, "Ellie, are you okay?" I was never happier to hear his voice, "Yeah, are you?" He nodded. He was bleeding from his nose, and I was about to reach over and help him when the door opened on my side. "Get up." I heard Seans voise say in anger and hate. I couldn't move. "Ellie don't move!" I dind't want Craig to get hurt. Sean reached down and grabbed me, throwing me into the pavement of the empty road. "You left me for emo boy!" I looked up at him, my head bleeding from when it hit the pavement. I looked helplessly at him, "Sean, please, you left me." I was near tears. He reached down and angrily pulled me up, his face inches from mine. "Leave him, or you'll pay for it." He smelled like my mom on a bad day. "Sean you're drunk." In teh background I saw Craig slowly get out of the car, coming towards Sean, I shook my head at him, but he just...snapped. Craig lept ontop of Sean, Punching him over and over. Sean Shoved him and they began to fight. I screamed at them to stop, "Sotp it, STOP!" I ran to the car, for a cell phone, anything.Sean grabbed my hair, and threw me down. Craig grabbed him, but Sean flung him down, and began to kick him, soft packing noises coming from each blow. I stumbled up. Grabbing Sean, "No, Sean you're going to kill him!" I turned around, and smacked me. Craig lay there holding his stomach. Sean had now begun to shove me around, yelling obscenities, calling me a a "slut" and a "cunt". I just sobbed and let him. Craig grabbed his legs, and Sean turned around, "You took her from me!" He flipped open a knife he had. "Sean no!" I screamed. He picked up Craig, and Just...stabbed, and stabbed, and stabbed, over and over, and over. I was screaming, trying to get him to stop. When he was done, he spun around and stabbed me in the shoulder I cried out in pain, and fell to my knees. He walked off the bloody knife to his side. He wiped it on his pants, got in his car, and drove off. I was left there, crying. My mouth was open and I want to scream. I looked over at Craig, he was breathing still. I crawled over to him, gripping my shoulder. I was over him sobbing. "Craig, please, don't leave me." He looked at me with him blue eyes in pain, "El-Ellie, I love you, so much." He gripped my other hand hard, "I-I'm sorry," He said crying, tears falling from his eyes, it was the most painful thing I've ever had to witness. I bowed my head to breath, "Craig, hold on," I heard sirens in the distance. His breathing slowed, I leaned over to kiss him. "Just remember Ellie please...I love you more, than you could dream...I-I always will..." He touched my face, he was bleeding so much, I tried to stop it, do anything to help him. He was in so much pain. "Ellie..." He looked at me, then stopped breathing. His final tears falling from his dead eyes. I stared at him, "Craig," I pushed him to wake him up, anything. "Craig, don't, don't leave me, not now!" I sobbed insanely, the sirens coming closer now. I was sobbing into his chest now, his blood smearing everywhere. I looked up, and screamed so loud that the world could hear my heart break. I was sobbing so much. I didn't even hear the ambulance roll up. Craigs eyes were still staring, dead, lifeless into me. Then he began to shake. I was confused, and someone called by us, and I wasn't sure what to do.


	3. Ripped Open

**_This chapter has mature contert. It was rather difficult to write. _**

**_Mature content- rape, violence, both some-what graphic. _**

The paramedics took Craig from my arms leaving me with my arms wide. Sitting barely alive, I was left alone surrounded by paramedics and cops. My mouth was open unable to speak, tears rolled, but I felt no emotion. I was broken, again. "Miss! Miss!" I was called over and over, paramedics shouting things I couldn't understand. I was asked over and over if I was okay, "Miss are you okay? Can you hear me?" I was broken in half and they didn't even know. I couldn't speak my voice was useless. I looked back to Craigs stretcher, and everything went black.

When I woke up, I was in the hospital. It smelled like evry hospital should smell, lifeless, and like a stale hotel room.I blinked away the bright sun shining in my face. I could see my mom sitting in the corner on a chair covering herself with a coat. She was sleeping, heavily. I struggled to sit up, I was so sore. I felt my shoulder, I was bandaged up pretty good. Craig...he couldn't be dead, this was a horrible nightmare. He was alive I know it. I couldn't live without him. I heard beeping from the room next to me, i could hear doctors trying to whisper about my neighbors condition. "His wounds weren't that deep, we had to repair quite a bit of tissue, he's lucky to have survived, when we got him he was barely alive, having passed out from blood loss." Who were they talking about? "Thank you doctors." my neighbors family member said. I had to find Craig.

I got up and ripped out the IVs from my arms, it didn't hurt. I stumbled to my doorway, checking if the coast was clear. I began to limp dtowards my neighbors room accidentally, and lost my balance. I fell right on my side and winced in pain, swearing to myself. I attempted to get up. I was facing my neighbors bed, I finally got to my feet and nearly fainted when I saw who my neighbor was. "Craig..." How could he be alive? He wasn't dead, Sean didn't kill him. I limped slowly, tears flowing, to his bed. I took his hand and sobbed. No, he was dead how could he had lived, he was too storng. I knew that when he woke up, he would kill Sean for doing this to him, but mainly doing this to me. Go figure, the wounds Sean had inflicted were shallow and to the side, barely causing Craig any tissue damage. I groan and sudden grip to my fingers startled me. I looked up at Craigs face which sitll had some blood on it. "El..." Here they came, my emotion. I tried not to move to fast, "Craigs..." I said putting a hand on his face, "I'm so sorry, thsi is my fault." His eyes were barely open and his breathing was deep and heavy. "No, it was that fuckers. He tried to hurt you, and I...couldn't let that happen." I kept tearing, "Craig, I thought you were dead!" He tried to laugh, "He was drunk Ellie, so drunk he's lucky he got the shots in he did. For a drunk though, he sure could move." He glanced at my shoulder, "He got you too?" I nodded and controlled myslef from crying. "I should be going home tomorrow. I'll be sure to visit everyday until you're out of here." I gently kissed him on the lips as he slid back into his morphine enduced sleep.

I wasn't even sure how I ended up in my bed. I woke up and the bleak hospital walls were no longer there. I looked around and I was in my old room, the one I was in before I left my mother to live with Sean. "Eleanor, you're awake!" I saw my mother strangely bright and cheerful carrying a tray of eggs and toast. "Here a nice breakfast to help you start your day. I could see in her eyes though, something was wrong. "Mom, what happened?" she looked at me and her bright smile began to fade, "Your apartment, was ransacked. Sean is still on the loose and the police cannot find him." I shifted uneasliy. "But, what about Craig what if he comes back for me, or him?" She placed the try on my nightstand and took a seat on the foot of my bed. "Ele-Honey...they have security for Craig,a dn I promise you you're well protected here." My shoulder was throbbing so she handed me pain killers and left. I sat in my room slowly going insane. Ashley was no longer my friend so I couldn't talk to her, I had no one, only Craig. I couldn't stand it. I threw off my covers and slipped into some sweatpants and a long sleeved shirt carefully, I had a sling so it was hard to manuever. Quickly brushing my hair I slowly walked downstairs, my mom was out at the store, protection...huh. I Looked out side to see a police car sitting in my street looking out, they saw me and waved I waved back. Okay, so I was being protected. Looking around the front room I saw flowers, card, bears, magazines, and more. One card was from Ashley, she said she didn't care about what had happened while she was gone, she just prayed to god Craig and I were okay, I had to talk to her. I grabbed the housekey and walked onto the proch where I was suddenly face to face with a cop. "Miss, we're here to protect you are you okay?" I nodded, "I'm just going down the street to see a friend, is that okay?" They nodded saying they'd be behind me in the car.

I walked up the stoop unsure of what I'd say to her. Taking a breath I rose my fist to tap lightly on the door when it swung open. "Ellie!" Ashley said shocked to see me. I looked her up and down she was half naked holding a sheet to herself. Dumbfounded I didn't know what to say, I couldn't stop stammering. "I-is this a bad-" I cleared my throat, "time?" She looked at me with a face that said , "well no shit". She looked at me nervous, what was she hiding. Curious I crossed my arms, "Who are you with?" She looked down. "Ellie, I'm not with anyone." You scared the crap out of me, I just woke up when I heard someone come up the stoop." She looked pale. "Can I come in?" I said already stepping inside, waving to the officers waiting behind me.

She held the sheet close to her, but I could still see the fingered bruises formed around her throat, the tiny scrapes that formed around her neck, the way she walked seemed off. I slowly pushed it down. "Ashley, who did this" She looked up trying not to cry. "I...I was at The Dot." She seemed to trail off. "I walked out angrily after hearing about your birthday, so I took my usual route down the alley home." We found a place to sit and she took in a deep breath. I could picture her, hands shoved in her pockets, her eyebrows furried with anger and sadness. Then someone coming in close. "He came up behind me..."

Flashback-Ashleys POV

I felt his hands grasp my shoulders, and I was so shocked, I couldn't scream. I was slammed against the wall of the alleyway. I saw who it was and began to scream, it wasn't long before a hand clasped around my mouth. I looked around frantically the crimson sky turning a deep purple. I looked around for anyone to help me. "Shut up, I won't hurt you Ashley, besides, I've always had a thing for you." I could smell the stench of vodka and cigarettes, a cheap whore house, a drunken ex-love. I felt a hand run up my thigh, closer and closer it crept up my skirt. I felt his fingers feel under my panties and go in me. I began to squirm and shriek. "No!" The noise erupted from me, I was crying, but I couldn't move. He threw me to the ground and pinned me down. I saw his face in the speckled light that surrounded us from the street lights. Sean Cameron, was assaulting me. "Your boyfriend, is with my girlfriend. WHYISTHAT!" He slurred into my ears, practically spitting the words. I shook my head frantically, "Please Sean...don't." He looked down struggling to stay up, "I can't have her, he does. So I'll take you." My eyes widened, and I began to kick and yelp, sobbing. He pinned me hard and spread my legs. I felt him rip off my panties and throw up my skirt. "No!" I yelled from beneath his hand. I cryed into the gravel and dirt that now dug into my back, smearing in my face from the tears. He pulled out a condom and I flailed some more. I cried so much my vision became somewhat blurry. I saw him take three of his fingers and he thrust them into me, I cried to myself now, knowing it was no use screaming anymore. "Oh, so he did get to you first," he brought his face close to mine hissing into my ears, "I guess he wouldn't want a loose slut like you, so he took my sweet Ellie." I sobbed as he thrust his fist inside me. I winced and began to feel blood. I could feel him getting warm and he showed himself to me, "See this bitch? This is yours." He thrust himself in me, hard. I began to sob uncontrollably. He threw me over and got me from behind, shoving anything he found in me. He found a stick and just didn't care how he got off. He pulled out before he came and threw of the condom still holding it in. He brought it close to my face and let it out. He punched me and kicked me, and pulled up his pants. I can still hear the zipper in my head. I lay on the ground unable to speak, dirty, bloody, ashamed. I turned over beginning to sob, as I watched him walk back to his heap, and drive away.

I lay in the cold alley, until I heard the sirens. I looked down towards the highway and saw the ambulances begin to slow up. I couldn't cry for help, I was weak. I let him do this to me. I collapsed in the street and a cop found me. He took em to the hospital and I got examined, I pleaded for secrecy to only my family and I, that it was Sean Cameron, that I was ashamed. They re-assured me it wasn't my fault. When I got home, I found out what had happend. I heard about what Sean did and I cried, it was my fault. I was a slut. Crawling into my bed, I didn't come out.

End of Flashback

Ashley was sobbing into my shoulder. I held her, angry at what Sean had done. The bastard, how could he. He hurt people in very serious ways. His own childish rage. I needed to find him, and make him pay. We sat on her stairs, her cries filling the house, we sat there until she couldn't cry anymore.


	4. Don't Cry Out

_**A/N- Well it has been awhile hasn't it? Well this one was difficult to write. It took me a few times to make it not sound lamer then hell. So I hope you enjoy it. Read and review people. **_

_**Oh FYI I don't own Degrassi, The Postal Service, The Flaming Lips, or Shiny Toy Guns. Anything else you may want to sue me for is pure coincedince. **_

I left Ashley's house around 9:30 that night. I saw the cops watching some portable TV they had in their squad car. And they wonder why people are being raped in alleyways? I sighed and slipped on a beanie I had in my jacket pocket. I ran my fingers through my hair so it didn't get entangled in the hood. I began to walk, and the cops noticed I was leaving, they slowly began following me. They seemed to be closer than were this morning, I think it was because of the dark. I heard something in the bushes beside me and I quickly spun around. The car came to a screech and the doors flew open.

"Ma'am, are you okay?" the cops asked frantic.

I looked at them, calmer, I don't know why I was on edge, I just was.

I nodded my head, "Yeah, I just, thought I heard somethnig..."

I began to walk some more and they quickly began to follow once more until I was on my front steps. I waved to them as they slowly turned around and parked across the street. I unlocked the door and stepped inside. I slipped off the beanie and my jacket, placing them on the hook beside the stairs. I looked around my dark house, feeling for the light switch. "Mom?" I semi-shouted. I found the lightswitch and began to turn on the lights in the house, it was so creepy dark.

There was a note on the kitchen table,

_"Eleanor.  
At a meeting, you know how I have to go.  
I'm sorry I couldn't stay in especially now.  
I hope you understand.  
Theres money on the counter for take-out, get whatever you like._

_ Love, Mom._

_ P.S. I should be home around midnight, some of the members and I are seeing a movie after the meeting."_

Go figure, I knew she had to go to a meeting, but now? I really do want her to get completely better, but now? I crumpled the note and tossed it in the trash. I found the monety, and picked up the phone dialing for some Thai food. I ordered my Thai food and fell back onto the couch, turning the TV to a made-for-TV movie on Lifetime. I don't know why I watched them. The doorbell rang somewhere between the murdering husbands return for the kids, and the cops storming into the house chasing him. I got up and grabbed the money from the cofee table where I had placed it. I opened the door and suddenly felt something hit my face with immense force. Everything went black. When I came to what seemed like 30 seconds later, I could felt blood seep from my nose running down my throat. I gagged and began to cough, shaking my head trying to see through the blur of blood and searing pain that now surged from my head. It was at that point where I felt myself being dragged across the floor.

I rubbed the blood off my face, hazily trying to grab ahold of something. What the hell just happened? What's going on? Where's the Thai food? I grabbed the edge of the rug on our living room floor. It slipped from my grip and I felt myself being lifted up. I was sitting up on the floor now still confused. I blinked until my vision became clear again. I was rocking, still woozy from the original hit. It felt like I had been drugged, like I was in some horrible movie.

"So, you talked to Ashley." I heard his voice and wanted to kill him, but I couldn't move.

"Hows the hit feeling? I hit you pretty hard. Smacked your head on the ground when you fell. Hurts? That's how it feels when you find out your girlfriends fucking someone else." He was close to my face now breathing, his breath was horrible, but he was sober. No alcohal traced his lips when he sloppy placed them on mine.

I pushed him away, finally able to move. I went to get up but he pushed me down again.

"You know, Ashley was so good. Especailly in the dirt, when she was screaming." He laughed.

"You sonofabitch!" I spat in his face.  
"But I never got to have you Ellie, maybe tonight you'll be mine." My eyes widened, he wasn't going to do this to me.

I kicked his leg and got up running to the stairs. He yelped and grabbed his newly bruised shin."You bitch!" He began to limp/run up the stairs after me, he got my leg and pulled me down. We were face to face now, I knew I couldn 't get away. He dragged me up the stairs, I began to sob. "Sean, please, stop it, I'm sorry I hurt you you don't have to do this..." I was crying so much.

He held on tight while I tried to grab something. I clwaed at the floor looking for some sort of support. The adrenaline kicked in and I could hear the police slamming on the door. I shoved him off of me and screamed so loud I think I broke my neighbors window.

He grabbed me again, and I began to flail and kick, profanities escaping my mouth, "Get off of me! Get the fuck off of me! You aren't touching me you piece of trailer trash shit!" I wasn't about to lie down and let this happen. I kicked him in the groin and he stood back in pain, I wiped away my tears and ran to the top of the stairs. He blocked the door. I now wondered why I couldn't feel my furniture while I was aimlessly reaching out to grab things while I dragged across my living room floor. He placed them all convientiantly in front of the door. I heard him stomp to his feet and I ran down the stairs, looking beind me I began to tear away at the furniture that was stacked against the door. I felt him grab my bad shoulder and squeeze. I gasped and began to yelp, still hearing the police argue, slam, and shove against the door. Their walkie talkies calling for back-up in the distance, Sean squeezed my shoulder, the wound that had been neatly stitched was now ripped open. I felt my shoulder get warm with fresh blood that was now oozing out of my newly opened wound. He threw me down, hard. I got winded, and that was my downfall. He knelt on top of my laughing like he'd planned it all along. I saw him begin to unbuckle his pants, and knew his intention.I couldn't have that happend to me, I'd be damned if I was going to get raped my Sean Cameron tonight.

He flipped me over and grabbed the back of my shirt and put me on all fours, pessing down so I wouldn't get away. I squirmed and looked up, you could see the street from the window in my living room, he wanted to publicize his crimes. I flailed more, kicking and screaming, he couldn't hold. I got up and ran up to the window pounding against it. I could see the reflection of him coming towards me. I saw the remote control on the ground beside me and threw it at him, "You bitch, get over here!"

I grabbed a chair, now laying on the floor and thought about it, then I threw it full force through the window. It shattered and glass splayed out everywhere. I took a moment to look back and he leapt at me, and I jumped through the window. I hit my front lawn on my side looking back towards the window I saw him, buckling up his pants, shaking his head laughing some more.

He looked in my eyes, "It doesn't matter, I'll get you alone." Out of breath, the police ran over and helped me up. When we looked back again, he was gone.

All I could do at that point was sob. Sob so incredibly loud that I was almost screaming. I gripped my head, trying to comprehend everything that had happened over the last two weeks. Why did he have to come and ruin everything? Why couldn't he stay in Wasaga Beach with Mommy and Daddy? What was he trying to prove? I sobbed until I couldn't feel anymore, and blacked out on the lawn, the police surrounding me.

_**Now I hope that wasn't too terrible. Please review? C'mon, I'll give you a cookie. **_


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